Cruise Friends
Basically I am a novelist. I have written one terrorist thriller entitled Nine Lives Too Many and a suspenseful, modern ghost story called The Daemon in Our Dreams. I have a new novel forthcoming which deals with rice queens. Most of my fictional activities are chronicled on my website www.senneffhouse.com . Every once in a while I like to go back to where I started as a writer in the field of travel writing. My roots. I particularly like travel writing with bits of humor interspersed. Here s a sample:
If you’ve ever been on a cruise ship, perhaps you’ve met my friends. After a while, you just become one big, dysfunctional family.
Cruising Chester:
...Bermuda, Alaska and the Caribbean. Tip #1... Always use the Internet, that s where the best deals are. As with nearly everything else, competition yields the best price. Nothing has increased competition more in recent years than the World Wide ...
Pilot Boat Phil: “I take pictures of the pilots and pilot boats in every port. I have a collection of over 200 different pilots. And I rate them. When the seas are rough, and they make a smooth transfer, they get a 10. If the ship stops to pick them up, they don’t get a good rating. The best one ever was in the English Channel. The pilot
...empty or cancelled seats and rooms. Last minute cruises are one of the best ways to travel because cruise lines want to fill their ships. Again, you have to be willing to go to the location being offered and stay ...
Lecturing Larry: “Excuse me. Did I hear you say you’ve never been to Monaco? The population is 31,719; the area is three-quarters of a square mile; the national budget is …”
Betty the Barracuda: “My sign is Gemini, and your sign is Taurus. You know what that means. I love the way that gold chain of yours nestles so nicely in the black hair on your chest. If you hadn’t told me you were on Medicare, I’d never have thought it. I was thinking mid-40s.”
Grandma and Grandpa Klutz: “And this is a picture of our grandson climbing up
...the Royal Caribbean's new mega "Freedom of the Seas" ship is the largest cruise ship in the world with room for 3,600 passengers. It has every imaginable amenity including a 1,215 square foot presidential suite. The popularity of sailing on ...
Travel Agent Teddy: “What did you pay? Oh, too bad. I could have gotten your cabin for $300, including port charges, airfare and transfers. I always get three category upgrades for my clients. Next time call me. My number is 800-SAVALOT. I always send a bottle of Norwegian champagne to a client’s room.”
Boring Brad: “Uh, I was in this place in 1964, and they had, uh, a good beer in a place at some beach, and, uh, I think I went swimming here. Maybe not …”
Booze Cruise Betty: “What’s the next port?
...first, don t even bother going to a travel agent or other in-person operation, for unless you re a very good customer to them, they probably won t tell you about the extra-cheap deals. Remember, travel is usually a commission-based ...
Fred and Ginger: “We’ve been on hundreds of cruises. They call us the king and queen of ballroom dancing. We dance before dinner, after dinner, at tea dance, at the captain’s reception, in the ship’s atrium. You name it. We can do every dance from the samba to the tango, jitterbug, whatever. Fred’s a podiatrist, and I work for Saks Fifth Avenue in the shoe department. We’re ballroom dancers extraordinaire.”
Claude, the Wanna-Be Captain: “The ship lists three
...with Holland America as well. The program includes newly expanded youth facilities with the "Club HAL" program. For teens, Holland America has included The Loft and The Oasis. To date, Holland America has completed the program on six of their ...
Ralph, the Restaurant Critic: “The food on Celebrity is slightly more ostentatious than the food on Costa. The dinner rolls on Princess have more body than those on Carnival. Royal Caribbean’s corned beef hash for breakfast is coarser than the hash on Norwegian Cruise Line.”
Seasick Sam: “I’m wearing nine patches. They said to wear one on your navel, so I am. Last night I thought I was going to die. I haven’t even seen the dining room, and we disembark tomorrow.”
Camcorder Calvin: “Would you let me in next to the rail?
...for couples on vacation. Another very popular spot for tourists is the Yucatan Peninsula, which is famous for its ancient ruins of Mexican architecture and traditions. The geographical location of Yucatan peninsula renders it a perfect visiting area. Although the ...
Dine-Around Julia and Jesse: “In the morning we have fruit and muffins in the Lido, waffles in the dining room, bouillon on deck at 11, lunch in the Lido, tea and cakes at four, hot hors d’oeuvres in the bar for cocktails, first-seating dinner in the dining room, pizza at 10 in the pizzeria, salads and desserts at the midnight buffet, and before we go to bed, we order BLTs from room service. Neither one of us has ever had angioplasty.”
The Light-Tipping Lewises: “We don’t believe in all this tipping
...line of your choice! These cheap cruises do not compromise on quality and you can rest assured that you will still get the best of everything. Your discount can range from 10% to 75% -- it all depends on the ...
Bingo Bertha: “I always go to progressive bingo. I get seven cards for each game, and I can poke out those little holes faster than they can call out the numbers. If they don’t have bingo in heaven, I ain’t going. They better have a
...is the best value for money holiday experience on the planet. Better still, ships today are getting bigger and bigger and the amenities are such that there's no need to leave the ship! Finding Cheap Cruise Deals Travel consultants should ...
Lifeboat Drill Lenny: “Hey, you’ve got those straps on wrong. Hey, you’re missing a whistle. Hey, your light isn’t working. Hey, Mister, that strap is supposed to come up through your crotch. Hey, ma’am, please don’t drag your straps through the halls.”
Preparedness Patsy: “On a seven-day cruise, I pack my bags for disembarkation on the fourth day, and I have my luggage in the hall on the fifth night. I’m always the first one off the ship.”
Dolly, the Queen of Disasters: “I’ve read every book and seen every movie about the
...save on a travel guide but that is about it. If you are going on a package deal you might as well go on a cruise! Think about the advantages of a European cruise. All your food and drink is ...
Me: I never get seasick; I’m not pedantic, not a cruise maven, not a glutton. But you know what? I do think that the fruit selection they give you in the cabin is better on Royal Caribbean than Princess, and the ship’s newspaper on Celebrity is more literate than the one on Carnival.
John (Jack) Rooney is the author of the terrorist thriller Nine Lives Too Many featuring
...cruise line at affordable prices. Bookings for last-minute Bahamas cruises can be made one or two months in advance prior to the scheduled date of sailing. Some of the available last-minute Bahamas cruise lines include Holland America, Carnival, Norwegian, Princess, ...
He was born and educated in Springfield, Massachusetts (Classical High School and American International College). He wrote book reviews and feature articles for the Springfield newspapers.
After receiving his M.A. in Arts and Science from Columbia University, he worked for the Cunard Cruise Lines as a business correspondent at 25 Broadway, went on to serve in the U.S. Army as a
...lifestyle and what you would like and expect a cruise vacation to be. Different cruise lines offer different price points, different levels of luxury (although they all offer a certain amount of luxury), and different styles. Generally speaking, the higher ...